


I’m With The Prince

by Hudstrige1



Series: Creek Prompts [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, gay ass shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 07:43:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13095552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hudstrige1/pseuds/Hudstrige1
Summary: Tweek, the new kid in South Park, runs into prince Craig Tucker, who’s supposed to be living in Littleton





	I’m With The Prince

**Author's Note:**

> <3

At the age of sixteen, shy and quiet Tweek Tweak doesn't have what one would call friends.  
Just had recently moving into the small town of South Park Colorado with his two small business coffee shop employed parents, he's gotten to know the reputations of his peers at South Park High, more than the individual kids themselves.  
Three boys by the names of Eric Cartman, Kyle Broflovski, and Stan Marsh have chosen to randomly befriend Tweek, but he's pretty sure that that's only because their past friend of the group that Tweek's apparently replaced, named Kenny McCormick, had moved away and they're trying to fill some sort of void.  
The boy that they had take Kenny's place before Tweek came along is named Butters, who Tweek fears now hates him.  
Tweek usually tries to stay away from Cartman, Kyle and Stan's antics. In fact, he doesn't even like them all that much. Kyle's nice when he's only interacting with Tweek individually; Stan loses his temper with him easily, and Eric's just a sociopath all around that doesn't care about any of them.  
If his parents were aware he hung around the three of them, they'd flip.  
During just another every day five minute hallway break between classes, at school, Cartman is going on about a ouija board he found in his closet, to Stan Kyle and Tweek standing around his locker.  
"Oh, _come on_ fatass that stuff isn't real." Kyle criticizes.  
"Yes it _is 'Kyel',_ come over to my house to find out for _yourself! All_ you guys." Eric retorts.  
"Ummm I dunno. I don't mess with that stuff man..." Tweek excuses.  
"Quit being such a _pussy_ Tweek. _Kenny_ would have understood! _Assholes."_  
Tweek's learned to just ignore him.  
"I'll go," Stan volunteers, as Tweek takes a long sip of coffee.  
" _What?"_ Kyle asks. "Don't take _his_ side!"  
"I'm not taking his _side_ Kyle I'm just saying I'll _see_ what the deal is."  
" _Ha!_ See that Kyle? It's because you're a _Jew_ isn't it?"  
"If a ghost _does_ appear then let's hope it doesn't crawl up and get stuck in your ass!"  
Tweek's swallowed his sip and decided to tune out the boys bickering like he's usually resorted to doing, and looks across the hall to see three other boys he recognizes.  
There's Jimmy Valmer, who Eric makes fun of for his inability to walk and his speech impediment, Token Black, who Eric makes fun of for being black and rich, and Clyde Donavon, who Eric actually seems to be good acquaintances with, for some reason.  
"Tweek. Are you _sure_ you don't wanna go?" Stan makes sure to the wildly distracted boy.  
"Huh?" He looks back at them.  
"He says he doesn't screw with that stuff Stan." Kyle tells him. "We're gonna have our own fun, right Tweek?"  
"Oh _shut up_ Kyle Tweek doesn't know how to _have_ fun." Cartman snaps.  
" _Shut up fatass!_ " Kyle and Eric have gone into full bickering mode, something that isn't new in any way shape or form.  
"Um, guys? Class. I think I'm gonna get going." When Tweek announces his excuse to leave, he scurries along to homeroom as quickly his feet will carry him.  
When Eric, Stan and Kyle eventually get going, Token, Clyde, and Jimmy are still standing in their same places.  
"Why does that kid even hang _out_ with them?" Token asks.  
"Who, Tweek?" Jimmy remembers his name.  
"Yeah. Him. They're using him _just_ like they used Butters."  
"It's probably just how they deal with Kenny being gone." Clyde shrugs.  
The three begin walking off to the homeroom they all share.  
"Did you hear the rumor about why Kenny really had to leave?" Clyde brings up. "Cartman's stupid AIDS thing?" Jimmy asks.  
" _No_ , not _that_. The _other_ thing." Token still doesn't know whether or not to believe it. "You're not _actually_ mutuals with that guy, right?" He checks with Clyde.  
" _No_. We've been over this a _million_ times. He just _thinks_ we're friends for some reason." Clyde clarifies. "So what about the rumor?" It's his preferred subject.  
Token exhales. "I dunno, man."  
"It's probably true," Jimmy speaks, while they enter their designated classroom.  
" _Shut up Jimmy."_  
" _W-what?_ Just because you don't _want it_ to be, doesn't mean it is-is- _isn't."_  
The three sit down together in their usual middle seats within the second to last row.  
The tardy bell sounds, and their first period teacher alerts them all to quiet down. Token now glares off into space, Clyde and Jimmy shrugging at each other skeptically.  
"Hey." Clyde whispers in hope. "Even if it _is_ true, that doesn't _mean_ Craig-"  
"I just miss him, okay?" Token lowly snaps. "The _old_ him. Not what his _snotty parents_ turned him into."  
"We haven't seen him. We don't know if _that's_ true either-"  
" _Gentlemen._ Problem?" Their female teacher boldly interrupts.  
"No Mrs. PotsWeed..."  
The three all sneak each other dry glances during the next hour and a half.

At lunch, Tweek can either sit alone like he did on his first day, or sit with his friends who don't really feel like his friends.  
Fake friends it is.  
He plays with his food and sips his coffee more than he does talking to them, either tuning out the boys ridiculous conversations or partaking in listening to them.  
Today, he's decided this exchange of dialogue isn't the worst he's heard from them.  
"So Tammy's moving too?" Kyle asks.  
"What she told Wendy.” Stan answers with a shrug. He, Eric and Kyle sit on one side of the table while Tweek sits alone on the other.  
"Who's Tammy?" He might as well ask.  
"Kenny's ex. If you can even _call_ her that. It was fourth grade. He tried to tell us he got head from her." Kyle summarizes.  
"In the _fourth_ grade?" Tweek's shocked.  
"You're telling me you didn't know what _head_ was back then?" Eric asks.  
"I never even _had_ a girlfriend!"  
"Ironically Tammy's turned out to be quite the whore. You just might have a chance before she leaves, Tweek. You're vulnerable enough." Eric says.  
" _What...?_ "  
"Enough Cartman. Why does it seem like _so many_ people we know are leaving? First Craig, then Kenny, now Tammy."  
Tweek perks up. " _Craig,_ like-?"  
"Craig Tucker? Yeah." Kyle answers. "His parents made him drop out to take over the throne. They're somewhere down in Littleton. No one ever sees him anymore."  
"Oh...Well, my parents don't like his family. Says they're a bunch of snobs. I never knew he went here."  
"Yeah, he was pretty cool. Who knows what he's turned into now. He hung out with _those_ faggots." Cartman points to the table consisting of Clyde, Token and Jimmy, the same table where Craig would sit with them just a few tables away.  
"If they're such a bunch of faggots then _why_ are you such up Clyde's ass all the time?" Stan retorts.  
" _Shut up Stan."_  
"Well..." Tweek's completed getting another look at the occupied three.  
"Maybe Craig hasn't changed." He looks back at them.  
"Like _we'll_ ever know. It's like he's in hiding." Says Kyle.  
"That's not a good sign. My parents say his are neglecters."  
"Well the fag bots over there are pretty betrayed." Cartman nibbles on a cheesy poof.  
"Shut up Cartman." This is the first time Tweek's ever snapped to him, and his hands slamming down on the table doesn't seem like a very good response.  
" _What'd you say Tweek? Oh you not a pussy anymore?_ _Kyle pay you to say that??"_  
" _Jesus_ Cartman!" Kyle yells in response to a twitching Tweek.  
" _Uh-uh-uh-"_  
"Come on Tweek, don't let him _talk to you like that!_ Pour hot coffee on him!"  
" _Yeah!_ " Stan and Kyle encourage Tweek to do something.  
Meanwhile Cartman is already glaring right through his soul.  
"Ummm..." Tweek picks up his tray. "I should sit somewhere else. I don't wanna be in your line of fire." He has no idea which direction he's headed in when walking off.  
"Nice _going_ , asshole!" Stan yells to you know who.  
"It's _his_ fault for being a pussy. _Kenny_ never would've said something like that to me!"  
"Cartman Kenny said stuff like that to you _all the time."_  
"Why does he even hang _out_ with them?" Token asks Clyde and Jimmy, pitifully witnessing Tweek pace around in circles.  
"Dunno. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if _Cartman_ wasn’t involved. _He's_ the one that pushes him over the edge." Clyde responds.  
"Hey! T-T-Tweek!" Jimmy decides to call.  
"Huh?!" He flinches at the sound of his name, and heads over with shaking legs.  
"Yeah...?"  
"Sit down with us." Clyde says.  
" _Fuck you Clyde!"_ Cartman shouts.  
Everyone ignores him, while Tweek obliges, sitting alone on the empty side.  
"Why you by yourself? S-s-sit next to m-me," Jimmy offers, an open seat next to him on his side's far right end.  
"Ummm...Okay." Tweek isn't used to this, but does so anyway.  
"Hey fellas," Butters comes approaching their table during Tweek's current coffee sipping. It's safe to say he almost chokes it up.  
"You okay man?" Token asks in response to Tweek's light coughing.  
"Yeah. Yeah," he finishes up. "Umm..."  
"Aw, _hamburgers_. Kyle Stan and Eric kick you out of their group too? Guess there's truly no replacement for good 'ol Kenny." Butters assumes.  
"Oh, um—I don't know. I don't think so. Cartman doesn't really seem to like me."  
"You mean Eric?"  
"Sure..." Tweek sometimes forgets that that's even his actual name.  
"Since when does Cartman like anybod-d-d-y?" Jimmy asks.  
"He likes you, Clyde," Butters says.  
"Yeah well the feeling _isn't_ mutual. Guy's a fucking asshole."  
Tweek shyly shrinks down in his chair. "You okay kid?" Token asks.  
"Yeah, just, um...Cartman told me you used to hang out with—Craig Tucker?"  
Jimmy spits up his milk.  
"Oh..." Tweek realizes he should have never said anything. This is what happens when he talks.  
"Yeah, we did." Token tries to play it off with a careless shrug, but his sad eyes darting across the table's surface say something else.  
"So, like, who is he...?" Tweek notices that Clyde seems to be the one least tense about it. Butters gasps. "Tweek! You don't know who _Craig_ _Tucker_ is?!" He rushes over to and sits down in the seat across from him.  
"No no, I-I do. I just-what was he like when he went to school with you guys?" He wonders.  
"Freakin' _cool._ Mellow." Clyde answers.  
"I was told his parents castle is in Littleton."  
"Yeah. It is. Not like we could ever visit. The castle is guarded off for miles."  
"Oh. My Dad thinks his Dad is kinda like-abusive." He doesn't want to scare them with a silly rumor his father brings up.  
"His parents are the w-worst." Jimmy says.  
"Yeah. I hear they're homophobic." Butters adds.  
"Oh..." Tweek's eyes drop to his sneakers.  
"Butters, we don't talk about that." Token whispers sharply.  
"Huh?" Tweek's curiosity gets the worst of him.  
"Nothing, uh...Some people, and only some people...Think that Craig was...gay." Clyde's voice is kept low. "And that's the reason his Dad sent him away."  
"Oh..." Tweek's heart sinks down. That's one topic he usually hopes to avoid, and it's _not_ because of intolerance.  
"I think he was," Jimmy blurts.  
"He would've _told us."_ Token asserts.  
This gets Tweek thinking. _Could_ he be? His parents have talked about every rumor in the book, and he's overheard nothing about Craig's sexuality.  
"Well, uh, either way it sucks that you guys can't see him." He speaks up.  
"Yeah..." Token gazes down at the floor.  
"So why do they call you Tweek?" Clyde asks.  
"Oh. Ummm...My parents—it—it was my first word." He's sweating buckets.  
Like hell he's gonna reveal his parents were too lazy to think of _any other_ name.  
"Oh. Cool. _My_ parents thought naming me Token was a good idea." Now looking back up, this has lightened the boy's spirits.  
"Oh, hahaha..."  
He could have just told the truth.  
"Butters’s real name is Leopold." Clyde shares.  
"Do you hate me?" Tweek doesn't think before asking that to him.  
"Huh? What, why _no!_ Just because the other boys booted me out of their group for you? Why, you were on your way out anyway! I don't hate _nobody!"_ Butters exclaims.  
"Oh...Cool!" For the first time around, Tweek actually smiles in this damn school.  
And all he needed to do was find the right group of people.  
While Cartman and Stan couldn't care less, Kyle still stares over at the other table in shame.

While walking out of the building when the school day is drawing to another end, Kyle catches up with Tweek and asks "Hey Tweek, wanna come over to Cartman's with us?"  
Tweek stops on the second to last stone built step.  
"I thought Cartman hated me."  
"Nah, he just likes to rag on people. Like me."  
"He 'rags on you' for being Jewish."  
"He's been doing that since preschool. You get used to it." Kyle shrugs.  
"Yeah well I don't think I'm ever gonna ' _get used to it.'"_ Tweek turns away from him and takes another quick sip of coffee.  
"Tweek..."  
"I'm gonna go. We could hang out separately if you want, but, Cartman kinda just ruins the whole thing for me."  
Kyle fumes. This has happened _countless_ times. Unfortunately, the boys are kinda a package deal, now excluding Kenny but still _in_ cluding Cartman.  
"Okay...Bye Tweek."  
He sorrily watches him walk off. "What's going on?" Stan and Cartman come walking up next to him.  
"Thanks to _you_ Tweek doesn't wanna hang out with us, fatass." He confronts Cartman.  
" _Fuck off,_ Kyle."  
Stan shrugs. "I'm fine with that."  
" _Seriously?"_  
"Yeah, Tweek's kinda a spaz. He's no Kenny."  
Kyle opens his mouth to protest, but Cartman interrupts.  
"Yeah. I hope he's okay."  
"Tweek will be _just fine_ without you, Cartman."  
"Not _him,_ Jew boy. Kenny."  
"I know he doesn't miss _you."_  
" _FUCK YOU KYLE!"_

The next people to catch up with Tweek, are Token Jimmy and Clyde on the school lawn.  
"Hey, Tweek!" Clyde calls out from ten feet away.  
"Yeah..?" He turns around and walks to the three boys hesitantly.  
Now facing him, Token says, "You should hang out with us sometime. What's your number?"  
"Ummm..." Tweek carefully takes Token's offered phone, and puts his in number as quickly as he can while making no mistakes.  
"Cool," Token takes it back. "I'll add you in the group chat."  
"Okay...Bye guys," he offers a light smile.  
"Bye Tweek!"  
It's nice to hear someone farewell him brightly when walking away.  
His next stop being his parents local coffee shop, Tweek steps off the property with a giant hopeful smile.

When he walks through the door of Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse, his first stop after school everyday, Mrs. Tweak who works behind the cash register, is always the first to greet him.  
"How was school today, honey?" Giving a customer their change, she hopes to get an honest answer from her son, which she rarely ever gets.  
"Good!" She gets her wish, proven by the wide smile on his face and nearing steps towards the counter. Coffee in tow, the paid customer walks past Tweek and out the door.  
"Oh that's _great!"_ She beams, happy that he's actual being truthful about something hopeful.  
On the other hand, Mr. Tweak is a bit focused on something different right now.  
" _Psss_. _Tweek._ Tweek! Come over here!" He whispers sharply, standing a few inches next to his wife with his eyes pinpointed at a fellow seated customer.  
"What?" He moves over in front of him.  
Mrs. Tweak exhales.  
" _Craig Tucker_ is here." Her husband whispers to Tweek intensely.  
"What...?" He finds it ironic.  
"Richard, it's not our business."  
" _Yes it is Laura."_  
Craig sits alone at one of the tables in front of the window, drinking his coffee and fairly focused on schoolwork; notebooks, pens, and papers all spread out in front of him.  
"It's just him?" Tweek asks quietly.  
"Yup. His _scumbag parents_ stayed home."  
" _Richard."_ Laura scolds.  
"He's royalty; why would he be _here?_ " Tweek asks.  
"He probably ran away. _I'm_ calling child services. I never _trusted_ that father of his."  
" _Dad..."_  
"Richard, he was _very_ polite to me when giving his order." Laura says.  
"Bastard ordered _two_ extra shots..." He mutters, eyeing the coffee closely.  
"Just because you hate his _parents_ doesn't mean you have to hate _him._ The kids I talked to at school said they were close friends with him." Tweek whispers snappily.  
Speaking of 'those kids that used to be friends with Craig', Token kept his word on adding Tweek to the group chat.  
**Token added Tweek to Token, Clyde, Jimmy, Tweek.  
Token: What up mofos  
Clyde: oyyy fuckers **  
Tweek takes out his phone and sets it on vibrate.  
"Oh honey is that those juvenile boys you hang out with?" Laura worries.  
"No..."  
It's a _new_ group of juvenile boys.  
" _Don't_ change the subject. That boy is a _stuck up delinquent_ and I'll _prove it!"_ Richard declares lowly.  
"Excuse me," Craig walks up next to Tweek, who's resorted to sweating intensely.  
' _Don't mention this in the group chat don't mention this in the group chat don't mention this in the group chat...'_ he repeats in his head.  
Token, Clyde, and Jimmy would _flip. Everyone_ would!  
"Yes?" She asks, while Richard stands next to her and rolls his eyes. Tweek frowns.  
"Could I get two sugars for my coffee please?"  
"Of course! Why, here you go." She grabs what he's requested and hands it over.  
"Thank you ma'am. This is a nice place you have."  
"Aw, why Richard, say _thank you!_ " She looks over to him stubbornly crossing his arms and glaring away.  
She kicks his shin.  
" _Thank you._ "  
Craig frowns, and awkwardly returns back to his seat.  
"See, Richard? He's a _nice_ boy!"  
"You are _not_ to interact with him." Richard ignores Laura and turns to Tweek.  
" _Richard-"  
"No engaging!"_ He shout whispers.  
Tweek walks away from his parents and exhales, looking for a table to study at that isn't near Craig's unless he wants to hear it from Richard.  
**Jimmy: what should the group name be?  
Clyde: smelly testicles  
Token: fuck off idiot no  
Token: Tweek? You there?**  
"Hey," Craig gets Tweek's attention.  
Another customer walks in before Richard can implode.  
"Huh?" Tweek looks up from his phone, and over at Craig sitting away ten feet.  
"Do you go to South Park High?"  
He remembers him.  
"Ummmm, yeah." Tweek sets down his bag at the current table he stands at, before walking right over to Craig's.  
" _YES WELCOME TO TWEEK AND BROS HOW MAY I HELP YOU"_ Richard loudly and irritably greets to the new customer.  
Tweek looks over and cringes.  
"I remember you when I last went there. Tweek, right?" Craig asks.  
"Yeah..." Tweek resumes eye contact.  
**Clyde to Token, Clyde, Jimmy, Tweek:  
Tweek what do u think we should name it?**  
Craig takes one glance at Tweek's lit up phone, and blinks with disbelief at the names he reads.  
**Clyde changed Token, Clyde, Jimmy, Tweek to smutty assholes.**  
Tweek rolls his eyes, before taking notice in Craig's realization and panicking.  
"Um-"  
"You're talking to Token Clyde and Jimmy?" Craig asks.  
"Um...Yes..."  
"I was friends with them. We would do everything together."  
"Really...?" Tweek tries to act aloof.  
"Yeah. How are they?"  
"Good..." Tweek's currently sweating more than he was before.  
"Can you not tell them I'm here? I know they probably miss me but, my parents don't know I'm here and I can't have word getting around."  
"Oh. Okay yeah..."  
"Wanna sit?"  
Tweek's taken aback, but still can't decline the offer.  
"Sure." He takes back his bag and sits across from Craig, setting the bag down on the floor and phone on the table's surface.  
"So your parents own this place?" Craig never exactly got the full story.  
"Yeah. Sorry my Dad's being a dick. He believes all these crazy things about your family." Tweek gets it over with.  
"It's fine. A lot of parents in South Park don't like mine...The beliefs aren't so crazy." Craig takes a quick uncomfortable sip.  
"Oh..." Tweek wanted to believe the best about the Tucker's.  
"But just because my parents are like that doesn't mean _I_ am."  
"Yeah. Yeah I get that..."  
"I mean, if it were up to my parents I'd be studying at some stupid faggoncini Italian place in Littleton, but..." Craig scoffs out.  
"Why'd you come all the way here, then?" Tweek asks.  
"Couldn't be somewhere local. People would recognize me. Not too many people recognize me here, though." Craig figures.  
"Yeah. I didn't recognize you until my Dad pointed you out." Tweek doesn't think he should have mentioned that part.  
Craig chortles.  
"What is it?" Tweek asks.  
"Nothing, I just think it's funny how you're Dad thinks I'm such a _dick."_ Craig smirks.  
Tweek chuckles. "Yeah. Sorry about that. My Mom's on your side though. I am too..."  
Craig smiles.  
"You went to South Park when I got there?" Tweek was meaning to ask.  
"Yeah, for my last few days."  
"Really? When I got there it felt like no one noticed me."  
"I did." Craig's smile is warm, and this time Tweek giggles. "But wait," He then realizes.  
"Kenny McCormick moved _after_ you did. How come I never saw him around either?"  
Craig's spirits are brought down by the dark memories the McCormick family brings his own.  
"Did you know who Kenny was?" Tweek realizes Craig might not know who he's talking about.  
"Yeah. You probably didn't see him before he moved because he misses long periods of school. Sometimes people think he's dead."  
"Huh..." Tweek nods with interest. "Do you know where his family moved to?"  
Craig's profile darkens. "Um...Denver. My parents aren't really on good terms with his family." He leans in close and lowers his voice so no one can hear.  
"How come?"  
"Our parents _never_ got along. In fact...My Dad _paid_ his family to move away."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah...You _can't_ tell anyone."  
"I won't. Why are you telling _me_ all this stuff?" Tweek asks.  
"Because I'm planning on getting out of Colorado, soon."  
"Why?"  
"My parents...I can't deal with them anymore. I can't deal with the pressure of being prince. My Dad's always preaching about image. What people will think of me if I do or say or _be_  anything 'wrong.' Your Dad's right to hate them..."  
Tweek can tell it's growing hard for him to finish.  
"They're _terrible."_ Craig hasn't shown this much emotion in his voice in a long time.  
"I'm sorry..." Tweek doesn't know what else to say.  
"I don't want to do all this 'princely duty' crap. I want to go back to school and see Jimmy, and Clyde and Token."  
"They sure do miss you."  
"And maybe we could become friends."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah..." Cheeks now red, Craig's eyes quickly dart away, causing Tweek to perk up.  
"I'd like that," he admits.  
He can't help but be flattered by Craig, but not because he happens to be a prince. A miserable prince, at that.  
Despite coming from a rich and stingy family, you'd think he's nothing but a regular genuine kid.  
Except maybe he is more. Something greater. Tweek plans to find out.  
"So they gave you no choice but to become prince?" He asks him.  
"Yeah. When I turned sixteen that's when I was 'crowned', I guess." Craig isn't happy about it. "My parents bought a castle in Littleton. We always had a private one over here which we barely used.  
Token and the others always knew I was 'royalty', but they didn't care.  
That's how I liked it. Now that I'm 'prince' they care too much.  
Thinking I've become _just_ like my parents because they keep me _locked away_ all the time. Because of that I oppose them _more._ "  
It takes a few moments for Tweek to gather all the information and still plan his next question.  
"Is there any way we can help you? Help you get away from them?"  
"I'd really rather stop talking about this..." He looks around skeptically.  
"Oh. Okay."  
"Tell me about you."  
" _Me?"_ Tweek still can't believe Craig is generally interested in him.  
"Yeah. You. Ya know, if I didn't know that I was moving, I _definitely_ would've approached you."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah," Craig smirks. "Really."  
"Um, Tweek?" Richard has been eavesdropping on their conversation behind the counter this whole time. "Can you help me with these...Dishes?"  
His son glares over and huffs. "Okay..." He looks back over at Craig.  
"Sorry. Be right back."  
"It's cool," Craig smiles.  
Despite knowing what his Dad is up to, he smiles in flattery all the way back to Laura.  
"Oh, Tweek, that boy is _flirting_ with you and it's _so_ cute!" She squeals quietly.  
"Tweek, that boy is _flirting_ with you and I _don't like it._ He's _just_ using you to get what he wants." Richard scolds to Tweek back in the kitchen.  
Tweek frowns. "And what exactly does he _want...?_ "  
" _Information..."_  
"On _what?_ " Tweek can tell that Richards's just speaking out of his own ass. " _He's_ the one that's telling  _me_ things. Since _you_ were spying so much, you _must've_ heard him say how terrible his parents are."  
"I wasn't _spying_ I was eavesdropping."  
" _Dad."_  
"You're vulnerable, Tweek. I don't want him using your homosexual feelings like this."  
"' _Homosexual'?!"_ Tweek's beat red.  
"Yes, son. Homosexual. Meaning gay."  
"I'm not _gay,_ Dad."  
He walks back to Craig's table with a boner.  
"Hi. Sorry..."  
"It's okay," Craig seems to speak to him almost always politely. Tweek can't get enough of that.  
"Um, this kid Kyle texted you." Craig points to Tweek's phone lying face up on the table.  
"Huh?" Tweek takes his phone and checks it.  
**Kyle:  
Hey Tweek. I'm sorry Cartman is such a dick. Fuck him. I hate him. God I wanna murder him. Anyways, if you wanna hang out separately we always can.  
Clyde added Butters to smutty assholes.  
Butters: hey fellas!  
Clyde to smutty assholes: hey butters. Man I miss Craig.  
Jimmy: Yeah, me too.  
Token: Tweek you there? **  
Tweek gulps at all the different messages and turns his phone off, setting it within his bag.  
"You were saying...?" He nervously looks back at Craig.  
"Was that Kyle Broflovski you were texting?"  
"The Jewish kid?"  
"Yeah."  
"Yeah..."  
"You hang out with his group?"  
"Um...I did. Not anymore."  
"Good. 'Cause they're assholes."  
Tweek giggles while not only replaying Kyle's message over in his head, but Token's.  
'I miss Craig'.  
He blinks.  
"Well Kyle's alright I guess," Craig shrugs.  
"They're trying to fill a void now that Kenny's gone. First they did it with Butters and now me."  
"Butters doesn't deserve to be used like that." Craig pauses. "You don't either..."  
Tweek smiles. "Thanks..." he sits up in his chair with a relaxed figure.  
"So, you come here often?" Craig jokes.  
"Yeah, it's my parents coffee shop," Tweek smiles, causing them to both laugh up a storm.  
"You?"  
"Well it's my first time here."  
Richard keeps a close eye on them as they're laughing again, trying to give a customer their coffee at the same time but accidentally dropping it on himself.  
" _Owe!_ "  
The boys awkwardly look over, and the customer angrily walks out.  
"Um...I'll just be...Yeah" Richard rushes back into the kitchen while Laura's eyes roll and she shakes her head.  
Craig laughs while looking back over at Tweek, who embarrassingly smiles. "Sorry about him. He thinks you're like, flirting with me or something."  
"Do you _want_ me to keep flirting with you?"  
"Huh? Y-you were...Flirting with me?" Tweek can't believe it.  
"Well, trying to, yeah."  
A currently still speechless Tweek is still trying to gather in the information. Craig? _Flirting?_ With _him? Damn._  
"Is-is that okay?" Craig doesn't find Tweek's lack of words a good a sign.  
"Um-um—yeah!" Tweek grins, head spinning too much to even think properly. He giggles with a flushed up face.  
Craig giggles nervously. "Okay...Good. So, like, I can I buy you a coffee or something?"  
Charmed, Tweek giggles back. "You don’t need to, but thanks though."  
Craig smirks, and Richard keeps a creepily close eye on them while dealing with mixed emotions.  
"Richard, you should be _happy_ for them!" Laura assures.  
"I _am,_ Laura, it's just that out of _all_ the guys it has to be-"  
Stuart McCormick comes walking in, leaving the two adults highly surprised.  
"What's Stuart doing here? Are the McCormick's back?" Richard questions.  
The next person to notice him, is Craig. "Oh, _shoot!_ " He gets out of his chair and races inside the bathroom faster than Tweek can comprehend.  
"Craig?" Tweek gets up and hurriedly follows him inside.  
When entered, they're currently the only two inside.  
"What's wrong?"  
"That's Kenny McCormick's Dad."  
Tweek has heard Richard go on and on about the rumors consisting of the feud between the McCormicks and Tuckers. Now knowing that Thomas Tucker paid Stuart McCormick and his family to move to Denver, Tweek's aware that anything's possible.  
"Are things okay? Is he after you?" He asks him.  
"Mainly my parents. But me too."  
Tweek panics. "Well h-how about you sneak out the back and I'll cover for you. Okay?"  
"That's what I'll have to do but, will I see you again?"  
"Er, hold on."  
Tweek rushes back outside and over to their table, all while keeping an eye on Stuart who's talking to Laura and Richard at the cash register.  
"Hello Laura, Richard..."  
"Stuart. You're back in town?" Rich asks.  
"Temporarily, yes. Is it true that Craig Tucker is here?"  
"Erm..." The couple gaze at each other wearily.  
"No."  
"No."  
Richard repeats after Laura. Despite thinking insensitive negativities about his parents, Richard knows how dangerous Stuart is and doesn't want Craig being hurt by him.  
"You remember our names?"  
Laura recalls having a conversion with Stuart and his wife Carol, happening to move in on their street the same day _they_ were packing up to leave.  
Not many words were exchanged, and the couple never got to meet Kenny. They were told he was under the weather and had to be 'kept inside the house.'  
"Yes. I remember everyone's names."  
"Hm, I see. How's your son?" Laura tests.  
While trying to pay attention to the conversion, Tweek hastily gathers both his and and Craig's things.  
"He's good. Fine, thank you very much."  
Before Stuart can make creepy eye contact, Tweek scatters back into the restroom.  
"My parents are covering for you."  
" _Seriously?"_  
"Yeah. There's not much time." He leans back and locks the door for extra protection. "You should go now." He hands Craig his things.  
"Thank you. Um, how can I contact you...?" He's hopeful that they'll see each other again. Not just Tweek, but everyone else. Token. Jimmy. Clyde. Kyle. Maybe even Cartman or Kenny.  
"Uhh, yeah yeah." Tweek takes out a notebook and quickly rips out a spare piece of paper.  
Next he takes out a pen, steadily scribbling down his address and cellphone number.  
"Here..." He hands the info to him. "If you can't find anywhere to go, you can come to my place. Call me on _this number_ if you need anything."  
"Alright. Thank you Tweek..." Craig sets the paper within his bag.  
There's a few more sincere glances and awkward chuckles, before Craig musters up the courage to lean over and kiss his cheek.  
That same cheek and the rest of his face now insanely red, Tweek's all smiles with bright shining eyes.  
Craig returns his actions and expressions, also nervously twiddling his thumbs.  
"Was—was it to early for that?" His smile is weak.  
"No. No not at all." Tweek's learning that he loves it when he gets like this. All giddy and vulnerable when he's probably always supposed to keep his image by acting emotionless.  
"Um, I should go."  
"Okay."  
"Yeah."  
They're still smiling with each word they speak, and despite the intensity of their situation, Craig smiles the entire way out the window, and Tweek smiles the entirety of the time watching him.  
After knowing he's gone for sure, Tweek closes the window for safety, and checks around the coffeehouse for secure measure.  
"Did he leave?" He walks up to his parents standing in their same places.  
"Stuart? Yes, did Craig leave?"  
"Yeah. He climbed through the window and made a run for it."  
Richard studies his figure. "Why so smitten, young man?"  
" _Huh...?“_

Back at their home in the evening time, Laura and Richard have both started to worry about Craig more than they thought they would have.  
"So, let us get this _straight..."_ They both sit at the kitchen table, while Tweek nervously paces around the room at the thought of Craig getting into trouble.  
"Not _you,_ Tweek." Laura mutters.  
" _Mom...!"_ He stops short in the middle of the kitchen and glares over at her.  
"He's off on his own?" Richard gets to the point,  
"Yeah. I gave him my phone number though,"  
"Oh good-"  
"And our address."  
" _What?_ " Richard's turned angry eyes strike up at Tweek.  
"What's the deal about _that?_ "  
"Tweek, if Craig has no choice but to stay here because of the condition of his parents, then, you _know..."_ He'd rather not continue.  
" _What?_ "  
"I think what your father is _trying_ to say, is..."  
"Is _what?_ " Sometimes Tweek can't stand either of them.  
"Dammit Tweek _go clean the attic."_ Richard affirms.  
" _What?!"  
"The attic!" _ He angrily stomps a foot.  
" _Okay! Jesus!"_  
Tweek cringes his way up the stairs, making sure to stomp every step.  
" _Jesus,"_ He mutters in anger, stepping into the hoarded box filled attic.  
"He kisses my cheek _once_ and all of a sudden _God forbid_ Craig stay over if needed?" He easily throws a random box out of the way.  
"They're only acting like this because they _think I'm gay._ Just because I like guys that doesn't _mean_ _I'm gay,_ right?"  
"Yes it does Tweek."  
"AAAAHHHH!!!" Tweek screams at the small sized, rag doll version of Craig sitting on one of the high hung cob webs.  
" _Craig!_ How-?!"  
"Did you see a rat, sweetie?" Laura calls from downstairs.  
"Ummmm...!" He quickly swipes away Craig and holds him in his palm.  
"More like a Craig...!"  
The doll exhales.  
" _What?!"_  
Mr. and Mrs. Tweek are already running their way upstairs.  
" _Dammit_ _Tucker!_ " Richard is heard yelling. "You can't _stay_ in our attic-!" He and Laura enter, eagerly looking around.  
"Where is he?"  
"Here..." Tweek holds him up.  
"Oh my gosh!" Laura exclaims. "He's so cute and tiny!"  
"I know!" Tweek agrees, smiling and taking off Craig's hat. "Hey! Your hat is still separate!"  
"Give it back!"  
Tweek obliges.  
"Who could have-?"  
" _McCormick._ " Craig and Richard answer Laura's question together.  
"Stuart?" She continues.  
"All I know is that he found me in the street, cast his spell on me, and ran off."  
"I _knew it._ I _knew_ they were witches." Richard’s fist clenches. "Those _bastards."_  
"How'd you find your way here?" Tweek asks.  
"I still have the paper you gave me." He takes the shrunken sized version out of his pocket. "Everything I had with me shrunk too. Like my phone. Should I text the guys and tell them what's going on?"  
"No. Not until we know it's safe." Richard says. "Tweek you can clean out the attic later."  
"Oh, _come on._ "

Back downstairs in the kitchen, they all see on the news that Stuart McCormick has been arrested and booked for the murder of Craig's parents.  
"Oh my _God!"_ Laura screams, while her husband and son are appalled.  
" _Woohoo!_ " Craig smiles, stood in the center of Tweek's right hand.  
" _Wow_ Craig. What are you gonna do now?" Tweek asks him.  
"Well _first_ I'm gonna figure out how to not be a friggin' _doll._ "  
Richard nods his head and shrugs with agreement.  
They hear a vehicle honking down their street, so Laura rushes over and opens the front door, poking out her head.  
Three houses down, are Kenny McCormick and his mother Carol moving back into their old house, with a big moving truck seated outside.  
"Carol?" Laura asks, she, Richard and Tweek fully entering outside.  
"Oh! Hey Laura, Richard. Stuart got life in prison for killing Thomas Tucker and his wife so me and Kenny can move back in now."  
"Those were my parents!" Craig yells from Tweek's hand.  
"Did you hear that?" Carol and Kenny walk closer.  
"Down here! Kenny, why would your Dad kill my parents but just turn _me_ into a rag doll?"  
"I don't know man, my Dad's fucking weird." Kenny answers from under his hoodie.  
"Well how do we change him back?" Tweek asks.  
"I'll get the book of spells," Kenny informs. "Hi. I'm Kenny." He adds.  
"Tweek."  
"How do you know Craig?"  
"My parents hate his parents."  
"So do mine."  
"Yeah man I can tell..."  
"Kenny! _Kenny!_ " Cartman, Kyle and Stan come running up to him in all smiles. "You're _back!_ Is it true that your Dad murdered Craig's parents?" Cartman's eager to know.  
"Oh _shit!_ " Kyle notices. "There he _is!_ And he's a _rag doll!"_  
"Aw, look how tiny and faggy he is." Eric pokes fun.  
Craig flips him off. "Yes, Kenny's Dad killed my parents." He confirms. "What champagne should we get?"  
"I think we should figure out how to turn you back into a human first." Tweek says.  
"Alright," Kenny goes running into the back of the moving truck in search for the spell book.  
"Craig, how'd you get like that?" Stan asks.  
"Stuart," Carol answers. "Why, we're witches."  
"I _knew it!"_ Cartman yells, as Kenny comes running back with the book. "Kenny! Since you’re a witch you’re gonna _love_ this new ouija board I got!" He assumes.  
"Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean I like _fake ass ouija boards, fatass."_  
" _Hey!_ "  
"Okay," He turns to the correct page. "It says here, that the only way to reverse a doll spell, is..." Kenny wipes away all the dust.  
"True love's kiss."  
Cartman guffaws. " _Hah! Who would love Craig?!"_  
" _Fuck you, fatass!_ " Craig shouts, before turning back to Kenny. " _What?!_ True love?! I don't _have_ a true love!"  
"The doll transformation spell only works on people who have true loves."  
" _What?!_ Well how would your _Dad_ know that?!"  
"I dunno. I guess my Dad just _really_ wanted you to be a doll."  
" _Why?!_ " Craig's never been more overwhelmed.  
"I dunno."  
" _You're no help at all Kenny!"_  
"Try the witch spell on Tweek!" Richard encourages, putting two and two together.  
" _What?!"_ He panics. " _Wait!_ Wait-!" Kenny's already reading aloud the spell in his muffled incoherent voice.  
Tweek's body jolts into the air, becoming a rag doll just like Craig, and both landing back down on the ground together on their tiny pairs of feet.  
" _Whoaaaa._ " Everyone above them exclaims.  
"So what _now?!"_ Tweek nervously looks around.  
"Now you two gotta kiss to see if your each other's true loves." Kenny explains.  
" _What?!"_ The dolls yell together.  
"I wanna _stomp_ on them!" Cartman lifts up his foot.  
" _CARTMAN NO!"_  
"Hey Mrs. McCormick," Token, Clyde and Jimmy come running along.  
Craig gasps.  
“We heard that you're back in town because your husband murdered Craig's parents, so we were wondering if you had any idea where he is.”  
"I'm down here!"  
"Oh _shit!_ " The three boys look down at him and Tweek.  
"Why are you and Tweek dolls?" Token asks.  
"Just let them kiss and I'll explain later," Kenny says.  
"Whoa, dude. I always knew you had it in you!"  
" _Shut up Clyde!"_  
The doll sized boys make everyone look away when they have no choice but to kiss-not that it's exactly a problem-and spoiler alert: they're transformed into humans and confirmed as each other's true loves.  
Time goes on, and they can confirm that kiss each other as humans feels much different than kissing each other as rag dolls.  
"This is _so fucking gay."  
"Shut up Cartman!"_  
When Kenny was informed that his blowjob giving ex girlfriend Tammy is still in fact moving, he runs for his life to go see her for one final blowjob.  
He dies from an STD.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment ur thoughts! Request prompts to heyoricohannah on tumblr


End file.
